how my trip to Madrid was? A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. and mostly free'ing. for me i've tackled some anxieties and i found out some anxieties were gone that i didn't even notice!
- fear of flying. still there, but i did it, and even flew back home alone, since my sweet friend flew to Malaga to celebrate her holiday there. i cried. i did. i was a bit upset (the Guardia Civil at the douane did make me nervous as hell, but i do understand they have a job to do). the flight attendents were THE BEST. kept checking in on me, and once i was high in the sky, my anxiety dropped. DID IT.
2. fear of traveling alone, aka without hub and kids. i always had trouble 'leaving them at home' while i was somewhere else. i always feel the urge to be home asap, and the THOUGHT alone of being alllll the way in Spain while something MIGHT happen, freaked me out. i did however manage by keep thinking and repeating in my head "THEY ARE PERFECTLY FINE" and picturing them gaming (ha!) or playing in the garden. that really helped. picturing them having fun, laughing & enjoying themselves. it made me feel less anxious and to be honest 'forgot' sometimes to think about them. which, for me, is a good thing!. DID IT.
3. fear of city's and crowds of people. still there. although in Madrid i felt so very save. it is a very clean city, beautiful with lots of nature (always a win for me, trees are calming). although Real Madrid did win the Champignons League and it was A BIT (very much) crowded in the streets around our hotel, i did manege to walk through those crowds. going INTO the crowd cheering NOT my game. so i stayed on the side and that was ok. DID IT.
4. anxiety gone which i noticed when i was there: always thinking somebody is walking behind me, following me or trying to rob me. i know. it is not realistic, but anxieties rarely are, right? when i was walking in the city i suddenly realised: hey, i do really feel RELAXED. DID IT!!
so. just to let you know i'm far from perfect, enough anxieties left but i also know i've worked hard to stay positive and try to tackle every single one of them. i know that fear is how i'm wired and i'll always have to deal with that, but i also know that those anxiety levels CAN drop and you don't have to deal with this alone. tell a friend. tell your husband. tell flight attendents or other staff members when you are alone and feel afraid. EVERYBODY wants to help. <3.
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